![]() Just as many people journal in order to get their thoughts where they can physically see them and make them easier to sort through, reflective listening allows speakers to physically hear their thoughts and feelings so that they can do the same thing.Īs the listener, sometimes paraphrasing what they said can help them hear themselves and fully identify the emotion or problem they’re struggling with. It allows the speaker to get distance from their thoughts. This is a perfectly healthy way to process, so being someone who will let them do this without trying to fix or redirect their ideas is valuable. By saying what they’re thinking about out loud, their thoughts can flow, allowing the person to begin to make a decision, find a solution, or find emotional relief. Many people are wired to process verbally instead of processing internally. Using this technique instead of asking questions or talking about yourself also shows that you’re still engaged and that you want them to continue talking. By reflecting on what the speaker shared back to them, they’ll feel that you really are listening and that you understand what they’re trying to say. There is power in feeling like someone truly hears you. Reflective listening is important for several reasons. It’s also different from asking the speaker questions, as that guides them instead of simply hearing them out and allowing them to process their thoughts and feelings as they flow. This is different from other conversations where you might listen to the speaker and then respond by adding in new information or a related anecdote. It also includes any emotions they’re expressing.Īs a reflective listener, your goal is to help the speaker hear their own thoughts and encourage them to keep talking. The message includes more than just the words the speaker communicates. Reflective listening is the practice of repeating a paraphrased version of the speaker’s message back to them. Reflective listening should be non-judgmental and without unsolicited advice. You can perform reflective listening either through mirroring or paraphrasing. It also has the added benefit of allowing the speaker to better process their thoughts and feelings. Reflective listening helps the speaker feel heard. Reflective listening is the act of processing what the speaker has said and repeating back their idea, which includes both thoughts and feelings. Ironically, one of the most important parts of effective communication is effective listening, and there are many techniques for doing this well. However, it’s vital to building and maintaining relationships, solving problems, and even accomplishing tasks in and outside of the workplace. When the client feels at some level that they have been understood, then the empathy circle is complete.There is a reason why people spend four or more years of higher education studying communication techniques and theories, and it’s because effective communication is a difficult skill to master. I’ve heard this rather aptly described as ‘walking in the client’s shoes, but keeping our socks on’!Įmpathy is a two-way transaction – that is, it’s not enough for us to be 100% in the client’s frame of reference, understanding their true feelings the client must also perceive that we understand. In other words, we walk in somebody’s shoes as if their reality is our reality – but of course it’s not our reality, and that’s where the ‘as if’ comes in. ![]() "Empathy the ability to ‘perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the 'as if' conditions." And empathy is not a one-way transaction. ![]() This keys right into empathy, because it’s about building that empathic relationship with the client. You paraphrase it down.Īnd if you do that accurately and correctly, and it matches where the client is, the client is going to recognise that and to feel heard: ‘ Finally, somebody is there really listening, really understanding what it is that I am bringing.’ The client brings their material, daring to share that with you.Īnd you show that you’re listening by giving them a little portion of that back – the part that feels the most important. ![]() How does paraphrasing affect the client-counsellor relationship?įirst of all, it helps the client to feel both heard and understood. Online and Telephone Counselling Course.Counselling Theory in Practice – Textbook.Importance of Modality and Medium in Choosing a Supervisor. ![]()
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